You Win Some and You Lose Some
So
as a cheer parent you share in your child’s success and you also share in their
losses. One thing I have learned is that you are on just as much of an
emotional rollercoaster as your athlete. When you child wins or loses they look
to you to for approval or in some cases disapproval. Now when I say disapproval
I am not saying that you disapprove of your child on when they go out and do
their routine because no matter what YOU SHOULD BE PROUD! The disapproval comes
in when something happens they don’t agree with and they want to see if you
feel the same way. Like for instance say their team thought they hit their
routine and come to find out they had a deduction. They look to you to see if
you agree or disagree. Now parents we are commissioned to be fair and honest
with our athletes. If I see something in the routine I will let my children
know I saw something. We should be doing that as parents. We need to prepare
them for what could happen. That doesn’t mean rain on their parade. It simply
means you win some and you lose some.
My
daughter and our cheer gym went to a new competition a few weekends ago. We
were excited about what could be possible bids to US Finals, Jackets, Medals,
and Trophies. That’s fine be excited about what you could win. My daughter is
young she has MANY years left to cheer she’s on a Mini Prep team. They got
third place. They were heart broken. I’ve never seen six 7-8 year olds pretty
much in unison cry and feel like they were wronged. Now were they actually
wronged? There is a possibility. Will we be dwelling on that at home? Nope!
That’s because my mother and my coaches when I played sports they all told me
that you can’t win them all kid. We all know this fact. You don’t win them all
but it doesn’t take the hurt away. For the first time in my daughter’s cheer
career she felt she wasn’t good enough. She felt like she did her best and
nothing came of it. I disagree with that completely she accomplished more than
she thought or maybe still thinks. She has consistently been finishing Top 3 or
Top 2 in competitions. She has won many competitions. She is a 3 time National
Champion. So yeah sure maybe she thinks that when the big competitions roll
around they should win because that’s what they’ve been doing! There was a
point where I was calling her Big Comp Syd because when the big stage was in
sight and the lights were on Syd and her teammates turned it up to a higher
level. They did that here and like I told her sometimes the best lose.
Now
you win some and lose some doesn’t always apply to winning and losing
competitions. It applies to losing friends and teammates as well. This has been
a rough year for our gym. We have lost so many athletes for many reasons. Some
athletes wanted to pursue other sports where some just didn’t want to cheer
anymore. We also lost athletes to other gyms because they didn’t feel like ours
was the right fit. That’s all fine. What I don’t like and I am sure no one
likes is people who jump ship in the middle of a season! I never knew how
cut-throat and ruthless the cheer world could be until I started getting deeper
and deeper into it. I never knew it was so serious to the point that people
would steal athletes mid-season from gyms. Like gyms recruit other cheerleaders
off of teams during the season! That is crazy but it happens. All you can do is
make adjustments and move on. That’s what we have been doing adjusting and
moving on and we have been fine. It’s just hard to explain to my daughter why
her friends are leaving and going other places.
Sometimes
parents get in the way of friendships in this sport. This is my honest opinion.
We make decisions based on us and not on our children sometimes. Most of the
time when athletes switch gyms it’s not because the kid wanted to go it’s
because adults had a disagreement and decided to leave. We sometimes hurt our
own kids because we are selfish. We as parents have to stop letting our
feelings get in the way of what our kids want. Most of the departures we had
this season could have been solved by adults removing themselves from the
equation and putting the children first. We have to remember that we are not
the ones winning championships we are not the ones that are in the gym working
hard to perfect a routine. We are there for support and many parents have lost
sight of the fact. We need to get back to being a support system and stop
posting on social media trying to subliminally one up each other! Sometimes our
children are more mature than us. Honestly they at times have a better grasp of
“you win some, and you lose some” than us as parents.
Charles Michael
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